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What Bad Wolf means:
Wolf At The Door: A Destroyer?
There's a historical/mythological current of the wolf lurking outside our normal world, waiting to pounce at fatal weakness, consuming and destroying totally.
The supreme consumer? A force of destruction? Or a sign of rebirth at the ebbing of life?
Wolf At The Door: A Predator
The Bad Wolf is also seen as preying on the vulnerable, signalling the end of innocence.
But the Bad Wolves can also be the bringers of dangerous knowledge of how the world really is, rather than just how we perceive it.
Perhaps the Bad Wolf is either an innocent guarding a dangerous secret, or someone who has been manipulating events from behind the scenes without us even realising.
There's a historical/mythological current of the wolf lurking outside our normal world, waiting to pounce at fatal weakness, consuming and destroying totally.
The supreme consumer? A force of destruction? Or a sign of rebirth at the ebbing of life?
Wolf At The Door: A Predator
The Bad Wolf is also seen as preying on the vulnerable, signalling the end of innocence.
But the Bad Wolves can also be the bringers of dangerous knowledge of how the world really is, rather than just how we perceive it.
Perhaps the Bad Wolf is either an innocent guarding a dangerous secret, or someone who has been manipulating events from behind the scenes without us even realising.
- 21:01 Day 4 with an ear infection. Gads My immune system sucks! #
- 03:35 Heading to bed. Night Twitterverse. Lots to do tomorrow #
- 14:38 @4tb I told you where to get a new bed at a big discount... Oy! Such a deal! #
We are now backing off the steroid. I am going from 6 a day down to 5 a day and then 4 a day over the next 2 weeks...we'll then start dropping the dose by 1/2 tablet per week. I expect it will take most of the summer to get off this.
To cope with the pain, I have been put on Ultram - a non-addictive, non-narcotic pain killer that bonds to morphine receptors. I don't know how well this will work so I am giving it a trial. He also gave me vicodin to use as needed. So far, it has really reduced the pain associated with the condition.
The Doctor also upped my dose of Neurontin. I'm to take it once in the morning, and then a double dose at night. Neurontin is a seizure medication that blocks nerve impluses and pain. I've been on it for the past 6 years and it works wonders for neuopathy - the thought is it will also work well for Polymyalgia - similar to how it is being used with people with fibromyalgia. There is a drawback. Neurontin causes me to be sleepy and it also causes me to slur my speach. I sound drunk. It's going to take some getting used to during the day, but I'll get through it.
This illness has been extremely hard on me. My family is having a hard time understanding the illness. They thought that as soon as I was on the new drugs I would be well - my mother and father are just beginning to grasp that this is a chronic condition and that there will be complication as I work with the Doctor to get the right drugs and treatment.
Because of the illness, my parents are encouraging me to find a house near Conyers or Covington, so I can be near them and my Doctor during this. Because of the complication I have had over the past 5 weeks, they are even more freaked out - thinking that I might have to go into a nursing home. I am trying to explain to them that no - that's not going to be the case - that things will get better but it is going take time and there will be other complications as the Doctor and I fine tune my medications. I will be fine and I will regain my independance.
My friends - well - I've not seen many of them in months - being this ill, it is very hard for me to get out and go. The few meets I have gone to have been a major effort for me. I would invite people over but the apartment is small and I am not set up to entertain. I love having people over and doing a movie night or cooking dinner but well - it would be a major effort for me to do something like that. I am very happy to have folks over - just don't expect much. I'm just glad to have the company honestly.
Josh (Damian Shadowpaw) has been here since May 1. He has been a big help since he got here. He assisted me in the hospital and continues to help around the apartment and running errands I can't. I really appreciate everything he has done. I am doing what I can to help him out. I just hope he understands that he has to be willing to help himself too. Right now he has a job - it's not ideal but he is employed. He needs to stick it out while he looks for another job to keep afloat. If he can't maintain a job, I can not support him and he'll be forced to find another place to live. I really don't want to see that but as I said, he has to be willing to help himself.
I'm going to go rest - I fell asleep in my chair and slept 5 hours. I'm gonna go take my morning meds and get in bed for a bit - maybe be back up around 10am.
Thats it for now. Yawn.
- Mood:
sleepy
- 08:48 Mommy the Pooh? OMG www.asylum.com/2009/06/17/awkward-family-p
hotos-12/ # - 08:54 Wheee!! New med combo. ACE Inhibitor, Diuretic, Potassium supliment, Vicodin, Neurontin, Paxil, and a lower dose of the steroid. #
- 09:02 @Nemns I hope the room change and space works out for you. #
- 09:03 @Nemns This is my first day on them. I'm VERY relaxed right now.... WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! #
- 09:08 @4tb You hush. I should be more functional in the next few days. #
- 09:09 Even with the new meds, it will be 3 or 4 days before the excess fluids are off my system and I'll be out of congestive heart failure. #
June 1, 2008 I left HP due to layoff/contract ending. After I looked for work but as you know the economy has not been cooperative. Well I was lucky enough to have put away savings so I am surviving..
October 2008, I moved from Dunwoody to Norcross, 5 miles away off Peachtree Industrial Blvd. At the same time, I ended up noticing that I had problems moving - the term I used at the time was "Crunchy" with joint pain. Little did I know this was going to be a real problem. By mid November, I was having problems moving around. December I has experiencing more joint pain in my knees, hips and shoulders. By mid January, I was using a cane to get around.
I pursued this with 2 different doctors in Feb and March. As of April 1, I am on steroids for a condition called Polymyalgia Rheumatic. It is a debilitating disorder. You suffer with crippling joint pain and stiffness. The cause is widely unknown. It is an auto-immune disorder. The theory is it will resolve within 24 months and is treated with steroids (Prednisone). The theory is good, the practice, not so much. The side effects from the steroids have caused "acne", "Pie face" and now I have been to the ER twice thanks to a severe electrolyte imbalance. I'm facing another problem now. I'm in stage 2 Congestive Heart Failure and will be seeing the doctor tomorrow. It's not life threatening yet but I am being cautious. It involved fluid buildup around the heart.
The complications are beginning to pile up so after a shout 3 month run on the steroids, I am now looking to be moved off and maybe referred to another doctor for treatment.
I'll update everyone as I have more info. I'm also going through severe depression and anxiety. I'll be asking the Doc to change my meds to try to get a handle on these issues..
I am also looking at moving again. I am trying to get on disability and I am looking at purchasing a foreclosed house in or around Conyers. I want to be near my family and doctors during this illness. Also since I have problems getting around, I need an environment that can be set up for easy access (grab bars in shower, raised seats, laundry and master on main) since I have trouble on any stairs or inclines.
So...I'm still around. I've not forgotten everyone. I'm just having a hard time dealing with life, the universe and everything currently. I'm trying to plan for a future that I am frankly unsure of.
Wish me luck, keep me in your prayers or just send me an email back letting me know you are alive and well yourself, or just tell me to bugger off if you never want to hear from me again
Thanks for reading this and I'll keep you all posted as things progress.
Doc Allgood
Note on Dragon*Con - I will be there come hell or high water. I have a great video line up ready.
You can reach me on Twitter as @Badwolfatl
- 01:36 WTF Exercism of a "Gay demon" digg.com/d1tHh0 #
- 03:04 #squarespace and diggnatipn rocks! #
- 12:12 For those interested - I'm not dead - just taking a break from Twitter and digital life while I work on my health issues. #
- 13:27 I'm thinking Sandra Lee on the Food Network is a total lush. Everythiing with her revolves around those damn "cocktails" #
- 02:50 Apartment.flooded. Fire sept cut power. They want us to check into rhe Super 8 for the night. I'm too tired to deal with this crap #
- 03:22 Fuck it. I'm just going to pass out in my recliner for the night. I'll deal with this crap after ute sun comes up #
- 10:22 Back hurts. I've had 2 hrs of sleep and i'm waiting for them to get the power turned back on in my apt. Grrr fucking flood #
- 15:42 Power is on. Carpets are drying. I'm still tired as hell. Crews will be back Friday to put in carpet pad and repaint celings and patch #
- 09:49 Problem with taking steroids of to don't take them on a damn exact schedule you feel shakey and ill #
- 07:58 Furmeet tonight - Athens Pizza House 5770 Peachtree Industrial Blvd Norcross, GA 30071 Sunday, May 31 - 7:00pm - BE THERE! #
- 12:29 Reminder for Atlanta Furs. Athens pizza meet tonight at 7pm. Peachtree ind blvd norcross #
- 13:48 Dear me there are some HAWT guys all over this mall. Drool #
- 16:18 Athens Pizza on Peachtree Ind. Blvd in about 2 hrs. Come have Pizza or a Gyro! Good food! #
- 16:54 @Diggla I'm throwing in a $50 certificate from Restaurant.com - Got a real good deal on them! #
- 18:26 Om nom nom deep fried mushrooms #
- 23:43 @FilthyRotten the "group" was @4tb & @shadow_husky you were not bring mocked by me. I fear you as they all should #
- 23:45 @FilthyRotten fear and lurve. It's a healthy thing ya know #
- 02:31 Good night Twitterverse #
- 13:20 Sitting in the drs office. I hate this. Hope they can pin down the problem #
- 16:14 Dr drew blood. Adding a magnesium supliment and upping my calcium #
- 08:19 Finally saw Star Trek last night. It rocked! Being a long time Trekker I was skeptical but pleased with the overall movie concept. #
- 08:22 Health note. Going to PCP thurs at 2 for a followip. Had chills and unusual stiffness last night. Hope I didn't pick up swine flu at the ER #
- 00:17 Rumors of my death... So I've been fighting an electrolyte imbalance all week - and it won - so I was back in the ER. #
- 00:18 Basics - they were so out of balance, I lost use of my muscles - no walking, standing, etc. I have been on my back for the past 17 hrs #
- 00:18 @mortonfox I was just aboout to tweet that... #
- 00:19 RT @mortonfox: Asus EeePC 900 netbook on woot.com tonight for $150. Again, I don't need it but maybe you do. #
- 01:39 Okay - my adventures for the day are done. I'm heading to bed. Ni ni all! #
- 13:21 Well I'm up and functional - Muscles still feel a bit funny - will take a day or 2 for the balance to get right I'm sure #
- 08:48 I'm Back in the hospital. I'll update when I have more info on the situation. #
- 22:14 Going to be discharged from the ER again. Walking is getting easier. Still real weak #
